This It I've Become.
by anemone
Summary: My first fanfic ever so please, be gentle. I combined the old chaps two and three, so the third chap is brand new..
1. Going Away On A Strange Day.

Disclaimer thingy:I own nothing but the storyline. Jhonen Vasquez does.  
  
A/N:Ok,I haven't gotten my hands on I Feel Sick yet (workin' on it), I don't know why Nny wants to kill himself after he's been to Heaven and Hell and knows they don't want him, my English is ba-ad, I know, and this is between issues 6 and 7. The line before "this it I've become" is "I can't take it anymore". It's from a song by The Cure.  
Please, R&R. Anyway.  
  
This It I've Become.  
  
Devi's POV:  
Devi pushed the doorbell. It gave a small buzz and she was positive that she heard a scream from somewhere inside the house. No-one answered and she was about to leave when she looked back at her very dis-approving friend. She sighed and wondered why she had listened to Tenna in the first place. "You need to get out more", she'd said, "Come on, I'm sure the infamous Nny doesn't even live there anymore.." So let's go and check! What a brilliant idea! ..Devi sighed, again, and pushed the door open.  
  
Nny's POV:  
Someone was on the door. Propably that someone was just doing a survey, or trying to sell something.. There wasn't anyone else who'd like to see him, for sure.. Johnny sighed. He wasn't in the mood for skinning a salesmen.. He wasn't in the mood for killing anyone, actually. Well, anyone but himself. With that thought, he turned his attention back to the knife in front of him. It was a fine knife, one of his favorites, with a long thin blade and a nice wooden handle. He had thought this feeling had left with Psychodoughboy. The door-person got his attention again by pushing the door open. Nny looked up, surprised.  
  
Devi's POV:  
O-kayy.. The house looks empty. I can go now. No, wait. There's someone in the corner? Devi hesitated for a moment, then decided that Tenna probaply wouldn't let her leave if she didn't check the house properly. She wondered for a moment exactly why she was taking orders from someone whi had an intimate relationship with a squeaky toy. But then again, maybe Tenna was right. Besides, she HAD kicked his ass the last time.. She walked towards the figure.  
  
Nny's POV:  
He knew this person. The one that got away.. He could feel himself blushing. Ashamed for what he tried to do to her. And.. Scared. Yes. What was she doing here anyway? Why wasn't she outside, somewhere, living her happy life, not giving a thought for someone like.. Johnny shook his head to the thought. She wasn't one of the shiny happy people, no. She was more like him.. Someone like him.. And she hated him. But she was coming closer.. Probaply she would just kick him again. He deserved it.  
  
Devi's POV:   
It is him. With a different haircut but.. I really should go now.. But he looks so.. Vulnerable. She moved closer. "..Johnny?" Quietly, carefully. Move slow.. There's a knife in front of him. Sweet teenage Jesus, where'd I put myself now.. Johnny lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were so sad.. "Yes?"   
  
Nny's POV:  
She talked to me? She said my name? ..Probaply just to make sure I was alive so she didn't waste her time on beating up someone already dead.. "Why didn't you answer the doorbell? And what was the scream?" "I thought it was a survey person. And the scream.. It wasn't me."  
  
Devi's POV:  
"Sure as Hell it wasn't you! Even I can see that! And it definetly wasn't a moose!" She was getting angry now. There was someone else in the house, somewhere. Someone(or someones) in a very uncomfortable situation. He looked down to the floor, and mumbled something. "What was that?"   
"I said: I'm sorry", he replied in a quiet voice and grabbed the knife on the floor --ohmygodohmygodohmygod-- from the blade and offered it to her , handle first. "W-what?" In a bit shaky voice.  
"Kill me. That's what you're here to do, right? And I'm not sure if I could do it myself.." He said, a bit shamefully. Like it was a bad thing.. Then again, he had tried to annihilate her. She had _dreamt_ about killing him for a couple of times, after what he did to her.. After he RUINED her LIFE, for Christ's sake.   
She should be happy to kill him.  
  
Nny's POV:  
Maybe she will end it for me. Maybe she will. He almost felt hopeful now. "Nny, why?", she asked quietly. Why, he thought. "I, I'm not sure.. I feel so bad.. For you, for them.." He could see her froze when he said them. No wonder really, if I were her.. Will she?  
  
Devi's POV:  
I can't. Of course I can't. If it were the Nny who tried to kill me I could. But the Nny who came to see me to the bookstore, shy, smart, lovable Nny. He's _in_ there. I know it. The only desent guy I've dated. The only one I liked. More than liked. Damn, I _loved_ him. And he tried to kill me.  
  
Nny's POV:  
She is just looking at me. I'm getting nervous. No, not now. Calm yourself down. Do not move. I don't have the right to interfere. This is her own decision. She starts walking towards the door, still holding my knife. So she doesn't even care about me enough to end my existence. "Tenna", I hear her shout,"He's here. I'll be staying."  
  
O-kayy..can't wait for the chapter two right? 


	2. All I Have To Do Is Kill Her.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Jhonen Vasques does, I was going to return them, honest..  
  
A/N:Because someone actually asked for it, chapter two.  
  
Thanks to all who rewied. I give you all Eternal Happiness™.  
  
They're probaply OOC, and I can't write, and my mother hates me, and I think I'm gonna go jump off some bridges now. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
  
  
After Tenna had driven away, Devi sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before returning to the house. He was still there, sitting in the corner, waching her. "Nny, get up." A command, not very loud but still.. He obeyed like a good little boy should. "Come here.." He did and Devi started to check him. "Fook! What are you doing?" Loudly, more frightened than anything else. "I just want to make sure you don't have any more knives there.." She mumbled. "Devi, I don't. And, if you don't believe me, I'll check my pockets and all and you can watch. Just, please don't touch me again. It's very nervousing." He really did look nervous. 'Well, at least it's better than moping in the corner..', Devi thought. 'On the other hand, when he was moping in the corner, at least I had the possibility to out-run him if he attacked.' She sighed.  
  
Nny was sitting in the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand, very confused. Devi was acting like he was viciously ill or something, cosseting about, making sure he was warm, getting him plenty to drink, taking away his shoelaces(he wasn't wearing his boots cuz his feet hurt again) and stuff. He never knew ill people weren't allowed to have shoelaces but if Devi said so.. Now she was cleaning up his kitchen?!? "Devi?" She peeked her head out of the kitchen. "What?" "Come over here?" She did, reluctantly, and kept her distance. He sighed. "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to make sure you don't get any bad ideas." A little smile. "What for? I'm not a very nice person and you know that." "Hmm", Said Devi. Just hmm.  
  
She went back to the kitchen, wondering. Was Johnny a bad person? She knew he was seriously fucked up but.. Bad? The more she thought about it, the more she came to the conclusion that he was not. He just over-reacted. A lot. Like, when most people have this filter between their wants and acts, he had none. No-one can say that they never did dream of killing someone. High-school teacher that hates you for reasons unknown to you, the girl who seduced your husband. Johnny didn't dream. He did. And he probaply hated himself for it as much as he hated others. Devi shrugged, feeling a bit sorry for him. He wasn't a bad person but he was terribly dangerous to be around of.  
  
Johnny sank back to the sofa, a bit frustraded. She never told him nothing! No, wait, that's a double negative.. Bad bad me. You can't have two negatives in a sentence, that'd mean a positive. She never told him anything? Now that sounds better.. Why did she treat him like this? What the fook was happening? Johnny just hated being confused.  
  
Devi smiled weakly when she opened yet another cupboard. This one was full of taco sauce. The only ones that had been any use so far were the one that contained 15 packages of chocolate powder, and the one that was full of Skettios. There's was some milk in the fridge, and it even was drinkable. The rest of the fridge was filled with cans of Cherry Fiz-Wiz and watermelons. And the worst of all, there was NO COFFEE in the house?! Oh, the horror.. Then again, Nny with caffeine would probaply be even more scary than Nny alone. Though right now her paranoia seemed a bit laughable. Just look at him! He looks like he last ate something weeks ago, not to mention sleep. And.. He always did look sort of an innocent one, the type that people always step on. If I just knew what made him this way.. He's a homicidal maniac, goddamnit! People are not born that way. I think.  
  
Johnny took another sip from his mug. It was almost empty by now. He was starting to feel all warm and fuzzy inside, you know the feeling you get after drinking hot chocolate. But even that couldn't shake away the feeling of _something_ being wrong. Maybe it was just having someone around the house.. Or maybe it had something to do with the powers of demonic green children.. He just didn't know. It was very annoying. Very very very annoying. Nny didn't know what to do.  
  
Devi sat in the kitchen table, wondering if she should go to the store. They both needed food. But then again, she wasn't sure if it was a good idea to leave Johnny alone. He did seem sort of desoerate when she had arrived. And no matter what faults a guy might have, she did _not_ want to be responsible for suicide. And, in the end, Johnny wasn't a bad guy. If she could assure him to go to some kind of treatment.. Or otherwise, make him stop killing.. Maybe he deserved a second chance. Just then, Johnny pushed a spork between her ribs.  
  
Maybe I'll continue someday.. 


	3. Distant Noises, Other Voices.

Disclaimer: These aren't my characters, they're Jhonen's. But you probaply already knew that.  
  
A/N: I don't know if Johnny's protected by anything after Moose, the Doughboys and all that shit is gone. Neither does anyone else. Except Jhonen of course. I guess.  
  
"What the..?", Devi managed to blurt, pressing her hands to the wound to stop it from bleeding. "Don't even try.. I know what you're doing, trying to lull me to a false sense of security so that you can.. Umm.. You can.. Do something bad, anyway. " Devi stared at him, eyes wide on some sort of disbelief. "So, you're surprised I saw thru your mask? You're plan was flawless, except for one minor detail.(A/N sometimes you just have to go with the classics..) You actually were nice to me. No one ever does that, you know. Especially people I've tried to decapitate." Devi's vision started to blur. She blinked a couple of times. "So now you've got nothing to say, huh? Maybe next time you won't.. " Johnny was rambling, but she coudn't make out what he was saying. She didn't actually even care. Didn't have the energy. She collapsed to the floor. "Oh no! Devi! What happened to you?" Johnny was screaming. "You killed me, you idiot.." "Killed you? No, I wouldn't.. I.. Never would.." Nny blinked when Devi weakly pointed at the bloody spork he was holding in his hand. "Oh. I'm.. sorry." Devi managed to look a bit pissed, which was quite a feat from someone who was bleeding to death. "Johnny, that doesn't matter much. You stabbed me with a spork and don't even try to say you didn't mean to." Johnny swallowed up the words. "Please.. Call 911.. Or something.." He managed to look guilty. "I.. I can't.. I don't have a phone.. It got somewhat damaged when that bullet went right through it.." "Ok, then do something. Johnny, please?" He just stood there, looking confused.  
  
Johnny sat on the floor, staring straight forward. He was still holding the stained spork in his hand. He hadn't known what to do, it wasn't his fault..? No, he knew that that was not right. He was responsible. A little after Devi's eyes had rolled white, someone had knocked on the door. He was too horrified to go open it, but the someone was bold enough to push the door open anyway. "Devi?", asked a quiet voice. He held his breath. It was a woman, holding what appeared to be a little squeaky-doll..? Then recognition hit him. Tenna, Devi's more-than-half mad friend. He had met her a couple of times in the bookstore. Johnny was a bit scared of her even normally and had absolutely no idea what she'd do if she found him next to her seeming-to-be-dead friend. So Johnny decided to hide under the table. "Devi? e She sounded a bit more brave this time. She stepped in to the kitchen (DEVI!?) and ran to her, screaming her name. "Oh my God.." She managed to lift Devi to her shoulder and run out of the house, leaving Johnny under the table, shivering, and uncertain. And now.. He just sat there, staring to nothingness, not even lifting his head when the police broke through his door.  
  
  
  
That was short. Mostly because I have a terribly horrible head-ache and didn't feel like writing more. And because I have to go and check on my dinner. And because I really want a candyfloss. They're delicious. 


End file.
